47 Reasons Why Star Trek Is Better Than Boys

by Laura, Bec, Becci, Rel and Lissa

It's late at night, Bec, Becci, Rel, Lissa and I are chatting in #JetCJr on IRC.  Someone mentions boys.  Lots of boy bashing, and cyber-ice-cream eating follows as we all share the gory details of the latest disappointments and crushes.  The topic is jokingly changed to "47 Reasons Why Star Trek is Better Than Boys..."  It seems appropriate, but is not intended to be taken seriously.  But, alas, the first reason is given; then another, and another...  About 15 minutes later, following much laughter, and many sympathetic cyber-hugs, this was the result.

1. Boys are immature.
2. Star Trek doesn't get drunk and get off with your mates.
3. Boys ignore all the signs.
4. Boys have bad taste.
5. Star Trek offers you sexy men to drool over with no fear that they will run off with someone else.
6. Star Trek is actually entertaining.
7. Star Trek actually has intelligent dialogue.
8. Star Trek doesn't ask your best mate out.
9. Star Trek is Star Trek.  'Nuff said.
10. Star Trek can't damage your self-confidence (except for when Seven's wearing that stupid catsuit).
11. Fanfic is probably better than guys could ever come up with in real life.
12. You can have a lasting relationship with Star Trek.
13. Star Trek isn't only after one thing... it's boldly going where no one has gone before.  There's a difference!
14. Star Trek doesn't care if you're fat and ugly.
15. Guys have hormones galore.
16. Star Trek guys know what to do with women!
17. Star Trek doesn't make fun of you for watching Star Trek.
18. Star Trek can be romantic.
19. Star Trek provides you with hours of entertainment.  Guys can only provide about 20 minutes.
20. You can choose whether to read angst, romance or comedy.
21. Star Trek helps you make real friends, guys run off with your real friends.
22. Star Trek can't make a mess then leave you to clean up.
23. Star Trek can't cheat on you.
24. Star Trek doesn't pout at you for a long time.
25. Star Trek doesn't get scared and run away when you behave 'normally'.
26. Star Trek doesn't make you feel so goddamn lonely.
27. Star Trek serves a definite purpose in your life, other than to make you feel like shit.
28. Guys act like weirdos without a reason.
29. Star Trek encourages you to express yourself creatively. Guys get annoyed if you express yourself at all.
30. Star Trek will always be there when you need it.
31. You can tape Star Trek and watch it later, and then over and over again.
32. Star Trek doesn't care if you're not perfect.
33. Guys can be intentionally hurtful, Star Trek never is.
34. Star Trek doesn't make you distrust other TV shows!  However, it can create a loss of faith in your VCR....
35. Star Trek doesn't ignore you all summer.
36. Star Trek is about space; boys head are filled with space.
37. Star Trek won't desert you simply because there's football on.
38. Star Trek can't talk about being lonely then look right through you.
39. Star Trek doesn't stare at your boobs!
40. Star Trek has Chakotay's arse.
41. Star Trek doesn't stare straight over your head.
42. The sex is always better in fanfic than in real life ;)
43. Star Trek can't laugh like a donkey.
44. If Star Trek gets annoying you can switch it off.
45. Star Trek guys don't fart.  Ever.  And even if they did, they have top-notch environmental systems ;)
46. Star Trek won't try to toss things down your shirt.
47. You can replay the good bits of Star Trek and fast forward the sad parts.

This piece of madness was dreamed up by Rel, Bec, Becci, Lissa and Laura.  Do not archive and keep our names attached.